http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/ This is an XML content feed of; SkiptonWeb Forum - Messageboard - Discussion Area : Last 10 Posts Sat, 04 Feb 2012 15:57:34 +0000 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:14:00 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 9.08 30 www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/RSS_topic_feed.asp http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/ http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2350&PID=9977#9977 Author: Desmin
Subject: Just my luck
Posted: 02 Feb 2012 at 10:14

Well, it said on the news this morning that a large cache of arms, explosives and drugs had been found hidden in a skip behind the job centre in Liverpool.
Apparently the locals were shocked as the had no idea they had a job centre!!]]> Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:14:00 +0000 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2350&PID=9977#9977 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2350&PID=9976#9976 Author: boss
Subject: Just my luck
Posted: 31 Jan 2012 at 17:20

Well, there you go!!!!!

Two guys are drinking in a bar

One says, "Did you know that Lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"



"BUGGER !" says his friend. "And I just joined Rotary....."


]]> Tue, 31 Jan 2012 17:20:21 +0000 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2350&PID=9976#9976 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2349&PID=9975#9975 Author: skiptonweb
Subject: Choral Music for Lent
Posted: 30 Jan 2012 at 19:04

Choral Music for Lent
17/03/2012
St Michael the Archangel, Kirkby Malham, BD23 4BS

Performed by Pinsuti, the Ilkley chamber choir

The programme includes Morten Lauridens beautiful O Nata Lux Allegris Miserere and Byrd’s Mass for 4 voices.

We hope you will take time to join us. Tickets £10 including refreshments, £8 in advance and concessions.

Start: 7.30pm

tel:
email: mail@kershaw-translations.co.uk]]> Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:04:17 +0000 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2349&PID=9975#9975 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2348&PID=9974#9974 Author: skiptonweb
Subject: Craven Clinic Open Evening
Posted: 30 Jan 2012 at 19:02

Craven Clinic Open Evening
09/03/2012
Craven Clinic1-2 Mount PleasantHigh Street

Nutritional Therapist Debbie Thackray will give an insight into her work and how she can support clients to improve their health by changes with the diet.

This is a free event with some refreshments to support learning.

Open to all

tel: 01756 796690
email: info@cravenclinic.co.uk]]> Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:02:51 +0000 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2348&PID=9974#9974 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2347&PID=9973#9973 Author: skiptonweb
Subject: Temple Spa Sale NIght
Posted: 30 Jan 2012 at 19:02

Temple Spa Sale NIght
24/02/2012
Craven Clinic1-2 Mount PleasantHigh Street

An opportunity to test out Temple Spa products if you have not tried previously.
25-50% off top selling products
1730-2030hrs

tel: 01756 796690
email: info@cravenclinic.co.uk]]> Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:02:42 +0000 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2347&PID=9973#9973 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2346&PID=9972#9972 Author: boss
Subject: Ryanair
Posted: 29 Jan 2012 at 17:40



"Spare a thought for Michael O’Leary, Chief Executive of 'Ryanair'.......

Arriving in a hotel in Dublin , he went to the bar and asked for a pint of
Draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro
Please, Mr. O’Leary."

Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and wanted to hand over
his money.

"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we
Are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the
Cheapest beer in Ireland ". You pay here like they do on the continent, just before you leave

"That is remarkable value" Michael comments

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.
That will be 3 Euro."

O'Leary scowled, but he took his drink and walked towards a seat.

"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 Euro. -

You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro."

"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in
This frame please"

Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't
Squeeze in

He complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra
Surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir"

O'Leary swore to himself. "I see that you have brought your
Laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked
Either, that will be another 3 Euro."

O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on
The counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the
Manager".

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2
Euro please."

O'Leary's face was red with rage. "Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary,"

"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink
And you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9
And 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls
Are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only
10 cent per second"

"I will never use this bar again"

"OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for
One Euro".

" Your bill comes to 20 Euros, you can only pay with a credit card, and there is

a 5 Euro charge for using the card".
]]> Sun, 29 Jan 2012 17:40:19 +0000 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2346&PID=9972#9972 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2345&PID=9971#9971 Author: skiptonweb
Subject: CLITHEROE ANTIQUARIAN BOOK FAIR
Posted: 24 Jan 2012 at 15:22

CLITHEROE ANTIQUARIAN BOOK FAIR
03/03/2012
ST MARYS CENTRE, CHURCH STREETCLITHEROE BB7 2DG

Thousands of antiquarian and secondhand books & other printed material offered for sale by leading dealers from around the country. Refreshments available. A great day out for all the family. Admission £1, children free.

tel: 01254 813559
email: ]]> Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:22:30 +0000 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2345&PID=9971#9971 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2344&PID=9970#9970 Author: skiptonweb
Subject: CLITHEROE ANTIQUARIAN BOOK FAIR
Posted: 24 Jan 2012 at 15:22

CLITHEROE ANTIQUARIAN BOOK FAIR
03/03/2012
ST MARYS CENTRE, CHURCH STREETCLITHEROE BB7 2DG

Thousands of antiquarian and secondhand books & other printed material offered for sale by leading dealers from around the country. Refreshments available. A great day out for all the family. Admission £1, children free.

tel: 01254 813559
email: ]]> Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:22:19 +0000 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2344&PID=9970#9970 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2343&PID=9969#9969 Author: skiptonweb
Subject: Car Boot Sales
Posted: 24 Jan 2012 at 15:21

Car Boot Sales
01/04/2012
Airedale Hospital, Eastburn

First Sunday in the Month
In the West Car Park of the Hospital.
Starts from 6.0 am to lunchtime.
Cars £8.00


tel: 01535 295316 9.am - 1.0pm (Voluntary Services)
email: airedalefriends@hotmail.co.uk]]> Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:21:58 +0000 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2343&PID=9969#9969 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2342&PID=9968#9968 Author: skiptonweb
Subject: Grassington Singers Spring Concert
Posted: 24 Jan 2012 at 15:21

Grassington Singers Spring Concert
15/04/2012
Methodist ChurchChapel StreetGrassington3.00 pm

Haydn Little Organ Mass
Mendelssohn Hear my Prayer
Schubert Mass in G

Tickets £5.00 in advance, Children £3.00 from The Hub in Grassington, or phone Marion Field 01756 751782

tel: 01756 751782
email: ]]> Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:21:52 +0000 http://www.forum.skiptonweb.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=2342&PID=9968#9968